Monday, January 5, 2015

Pure Dialogue


for Annie


From
     the deepest place within me
                                 I am listening
                      I am listening
                                     to you…
                              from the place of firsts
                                        first sensations
                                            feelings
                                                 images
                                                       voices
             the place before words
                and the place where first words emerged
                                 from cooing and soft gazes                                    
                              when their meanings were wet
                                                            and clear
                            as the eyes of a child
                                 witnessing his first rain.

I am listening from
this place
                   of first encounters
                          the way small children do
                                         sitting on a curb
                                  close enough to hear each other’s breathing
                                             every little sound of lip and tongue
                                  close enough to lift an eyelash from a cheek.       
              
Listening and looking
from this place
                              I hear you
 I see you
            as you
              and only you
           discovering you
               as you discover yourself
       both
                the little girl
        raising a bouquet of lavender
                  to her father’s troubling gaze
                                 and the woman
                              who asks that I be a better person
                                         and face her
        with soft eyes.

In this place
              I feel your truth
                         in a way that is self-affirming
                                       free of judgment
                                                   or interpretation
                                and calls me to give you
                                                            all that is within my reach
                                     and much that is just beyond it.

I thought I was a winged being
                    but find I am just now
                                                   shimmying from my chrysalis.
                           
From the deepest place within me
                           I am speaking
                              I am speaking
                                      to you
             from the place of my first awakenings
                        to the love and hurt
                             my mother carried
                                    from her own first place
                             my father from his
                             my older brothers
                                          grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins,
                            my neighbors, classmates, coaches and teachers
                                              the town’s shop owners and policemen
                                                   everyone, it seemed,
                              each and all carrying
                                             their gifts and unassuaged needs       
   into their lives
                                           and mine
                            gifts and cracked pieces of themselves
                 that became the stones of my path
    the giant trees
                  slopes and cliffs
                       I climbed
                                 the rivers
                   glens and woods
         I crossed
to arrive here
     in this moment
in the glades
of your eyes.

From this place,
               my love,
  my words, pace, tones and gestures
               will be
                     to the best of my striving
            Love’s choices
                    so you can readily receive
                     what I share
discover me
               as I discover myself
and both of us affirm
that while you may
     unwittingly
                   rub against
              an abiding loss or injury
                              from those early days
                 you are free from blame.
                       The transgression happened long ago
and though it still lives in me
                  and often resists revelation
                             you
                                were
                                    not
                                 even
           there.
You were in your own first place
                         trying to hold on to
                                  your own truth.
                                                          
Speaking from my first place
               revealing the small boy
                         placing a spray
                                of forget-me-nots
                                   at the feet of his busy mother                                                            
              I can reveal what is real for the man
                             in a clean request
                        you can answer
                               or decline
                                     for you are as free to say no
                              as yes.

Now
    we meet
                 face to face
each of us arriving from
a place of firsts
   into this new one
                                       we create
                                         together
                        with willingness and wonder
                                  tenderness
                                       reflection and remembrance
each bringing offerings of
                              words
                                   waiting
                                          listening
                                                 silence
       this place
             where mingled tears
                              remake us
             to glisten
                            in the morning sun
      this place
             where we name each other
               as if whispering
                    Eden's first words
this place
                  where wild compassion
blooms
   from consciousness
         and from compassion
                                  connection.



 Bob Kamm 12/14